Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I'm puzzled by how many articulate caring people say they have no words - that there are no right words to say to us in our loss. Then they go ahead and say exactly the right words - really helpful words. Words help when they acknowledge the reality and depth of the loss, express caring, and don't go beyond that to explanations or platitudes. The people I know have been saying very much the right words, and it matters. It helps. Thank you.

2 comments:

Dixi said...

I do understand saying that they have no words. I think people want to say the right words. They care deeply, but don't know exactly what to say. They preface their remarks with saying they have no words just in case the words that follow are someow the wrong words.

Also sometimes the words that come are so simple, such as "I am so very sorry," and they don't seem like they are enough so they preface with they have no words...when what they perhaps mean is that they have no more words than that and wish they did. Even though their sorrow is deep.

Peggy said...

Love to you and your family during this time of grief and carrying on. I do enjoy reading your blog--though sometimes it will not let me post a comment. Seems to be working now though.