Sunday, December 07, 2008

Sunday morning - straightening up - so many things I don't get to during the work week. This morning I've already swept, done more laundry, and made some decisions about which clothes I won't be wearing until spring and moved a few more things to the spare room closet. It feels great to be able to make order at any level at all. Later today I'll be doing more baking and cooking (mostly but not all healthy). And this afternoon and evening really do seem to offer time for scrap booking, chronicling, and other gift and family history connected projects.

K.K. is still asleep. I'll wake her and feed her soon before she goes off to dance her matinee. Weather is gorgeous - cold at night, mild in the afternoons, breezy. Some leaves reamain on Danny's maple, much fewer and less bright than last week - but I still see late fall, not winter out my window, which is technically correct. Thirties at night do feel like winter though, Austin style.

Bob stayed in Corpus this weekend to participate as required in his school's eightieth birthday celebration, which was small but prleasant. It sounds like he's had a pleasant weekend with classical music and football for entertainment. He and I really seem to be handling the separations well (though I am eager for his Christmas break at home.) Sticking point seems to still be ending conversations when there is no clear deadline or bedtime, like on weekends. I still feel sad that Bob, rational being that he is, has a sense at some point that we are "done with the conversation" and I, of course, relationaship addict that I am, believe that conversatins with my beloved are NEVER done, and that we only stop talking because the big bad outside world impinges. Bob is very kind to me about this, but last night I learned that he has still been noticing when he feels "done" and has just been politely waiting for me to end the conversations (which I almost always do out of concern for his sleep, not from a sense of completion). This is the kind of situation that makes me very glad I value living from wise woman/higher self and not from pure emotion and need. My wise woman completely understands that BOb loves me as much as I love him and that his feeling he can be "done" talking to me without an outside pressure is not a threat. My emotional self still has trouble with this - but I didn't call Bob repeatedly in the middle of the night to hash it out as many of y clients would have and as I might have in a younger, less evolved state. Mental health and self-awareness really are significant blessings.

5 comments:

Judy said...

I hope KK's performance was as much fun for her as yesterdays. Its wonderful that she has such a passion for dance. I wish I could see her dance. Perhaps I will one day, huh?
It sounds like you have a marvelous couple of days planned with her. The thoughts of baking sounds like a very good one but I've been doing to many other things. Maybe next week.
I read with interest that you are never done with your conversations with Bob but he senses when other things need to be addressed or enough has been said. I will have to think if this relates to me or how it relates to me. I think Bill and I are pretty much the same on that score but it wasn't always the case.
I hope you have a wonderful week this week and not too overwhelming at work, though I'm sure this is a very busy time for you.

Bob Hendricks said...

I am having trouble writing because I'm not sure I can write without being defensive. Although we talked about this earlier, I want to respond to this blog, also.

I do think there are often exciting or frustrating or happy things that happen in a day that one really wants to share with their most loved one. There may be ideas learned or thoughts spinning in heads that two people want to share. Once these are said, there can be a natural point to end a conversation if it's late. Or someone may bring up another topic, and maybe another. At some point, both people have said pretty much everything that have to say on each topic. There seems to be a natural point at which this happens. At these times, again, it is a natural point to either end the conversation or to start another topic. If neither side begins another topic at one such point, after an appropriate pause, it does seem a natural time to end the conversation. If one party suggests a desire to go to bed, as you did last night, this further reinforces the since that it is a natural place to end the conversation. I think the problem comes when one doesn't want to end the conversation but doesn't tell the other, just wants the other to want to keep talking. I don't feel like I have been "politely waiting for you to end the conversation", but rather waiting to give enough time for another topic to start.

Victoria said...

Your comment is sweet Bob, and not defensive at all. I think after our phone talking today, we both understand the leave-taking behavior better (really only hard fr me on the weekends you don't come home - and I don't think it will be hard anymore.) You are very patient with me.

Mary said...

Conversational dynamics are so interesting, I think; especially if people are apart and talking on the telephone... people can't see one another's body language. I also think sometimes the lateness of the hour has impact, perhaps on one person more than another. As far as myself and D, I think that when we are apart and talking on phone, we both usually agree when the conversation is over...

Hmmm, thinking maybe conversational dynamics itself might be a good blog topic.It intrigues me, really.

I did appreciate both your comments and Bob's, also Judy's on the topic.

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