I seem to be obsessing on the issue of John Edward's infidelity. I even dreamed about Elizabeth Edwards last night - innocent dream. She was just walking on a beach but she was definitely there, alone. I think a friend caught part of why I'm obsessing in an email when she wrote, "I feel betrayed and I'm not even his wife." Me too.
I find myself shaken by another friend's comment, that maybe the affair was a factor contributing to the spread of Elizabeth Edwards' of cancer.I don't want to believe that, though I know stress compromises the immune system. I am willing to accept that we are responsible for each other's emotional and spiritual well being to enormous extent, but the possible presence of that big a connection between what other people do and my physical health or survival, or between my behavior and the physical health and survival of others, scares me silly.
The issue of the media behavior and what is or isn't news and what is or isn't private is huge here.
The issue of individual responsibility is even stronger for me though - how we have got to stop thinking about whether we can get by with things and live out of what is helpful or hurtful to others. I don't think it's just about men, or politicians, or sex, but about our whole society being too externally motivated and doing what we think we can get by with. I increase my motivation today to demonstrate and speak out for internal motivation and to teach kids, all kids whose lives touch mine, even more strongly, the value of never trying to get by with anything.
I believe the core issue here is responsible use of personal power, and that applies to all players, including the press. I keep going back to one of my core belief statements "My power to do good and my power to do harm are equal. The difference is choice". The more powerful we are, the more difference we can make ineither direction. I wish John Edwards had been more careful with his considerable persona. power.
MORE THOUGHTS: (PS) I really am obsessing on this. I hope I stop here, but who knows? I just realized that one of the things that upsets me the most is that Edwards chose to run for President AFTER the affair. That just blows me away, seems completely irresponsible and full of hubris. And if Elizabeth Edwards did know as she said she did, and supported his bid under those circumstances, I no longer see her as an innocent. It seems such an enormous act of ego to believe that one, or one's husband' is THE one who can save or turn around the country, enough to attempt a Presidential campaign under compromising circumstances like that. I am completely shocked they would have made such a choice.