Saturday, August 09, 2008

I have a new favorite destination in blogland, Bridges, at The amazing woman who hosts Lost and Found, Connections Abound, a superb infertility and loss of baby resource, has done it again. She has created a consortium site which I will let her describe here in her own words:

About Bridges
Who Are We

Bridges is an awareness consortium of compassionate bloggers who are using writing to educate, tell a story, bring awareness, and build community. Our contributing editors all keep personal blogs and our blogroll serves as a cross-section of community where you can find various stories on a plethora of topics.

Topics already have included infertility, cancer, mental illness,and ADHD. The site links us to communities of bloggers who are experienceing particular issues, for instance "Mothers With Cancer" For me the site really does act as a bridge between communities and experiences. She even has a Friday feature which in which we can participate by answering one of two questions:

What do you believe?
What have you observed or noticed this week as you've walked through your world?

The very first discussion got deeply into the "Do things happen for a reason?" issue. Here is my first Friday response - no surprise to anyone who reads this blog regularly, but I feel like sharing it anyway.

I believe things happen - period - not for a cosmic reason. I do believe in physical reasons: that Kerry, my first husband got deadly cancer at 36 because of chemicl exposure as a small child, but not because God had a lesson in the dying for him or for me. I do believe in God as a source of strength and energy, that I draw on through spiritual practice. I most strongly believe that, whatever happens to me, I have power in what I do with the circumstances, how I let them shrink me or induce growth. I believe that we can give useful, even noble purposes to the worst things that happen to us, and that is where I find hope, not in looking for a cosmic reason.

I don't think we have the power we sometimes long for - to keep our babies and bodies healthy, our loved ones alive, through positive thought, healthy enough practices,keeping stress down, or even prayer. When Kerry was dying, one of the hardest things was to know I couldn't keep him alive by loving him well enough. A number of people suggested that we needed to adjust our prayer or our thinking, and that only hurt more. I really believe many things happen to us that are outside our control and that we can only take charge of how we respond.


Mary said...

Your answer to the question about do things happen for a reason was interesting. As I look backward at my own life I find that things had GOOD reasons for happening. Even difficult things led somewhere positive. What I think is there is good to be found eventually in most, if not all, personal life situations. Sometimes one doesn't realize this for years.......

But...does God choose someone to get cancer or someone to be killed in an auto accident? No

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