Wednesday, January 17, 2007

My icicles are three days old and the biggest ones are almost two feet long. The trees are all still coated in ice. Another ice storm may come through net Tuesday. This is alot of winter for Texas. I've been seeing clients here at the house - should get out and to the office after the melt.

Being inside - and the tone of discussion in my writing group - has gotten me introspective. We've been focusing on soul or essence and personal power in Skywriters' discussions and I've written down alot of what I believe about those topics today. Seems to belong here.

I'm actually talking about "soul" - a unique spark of life force separate from personality with which I came into life and with which I will go out of it.
I believe soul is not damaged by life experiences, but gets buried beneath them sometimes - so the individual is living out of personality only, without access to all cylinders. I believe soul does not die with the body, though I don't know or really care on what terms it continues. Of course this is religious, mystical, or superstitious thinking depending on your perspective, and highly subjective.

Belief in soul - indestructable essence beneath personality - really helps me in my work as a therapist, because I don't get discouraged by the terrible stories people have lived through or the mistakes they have made. I believe that no matter how hurt we have been we have the freedom to do the work (and it is hard hard work) to act not out of reaction to hurt but out of values.

And I think it is belief in my own soul and a the importance of genuinely living an expression of same that gives me the willingness to work as hard as I do to come from love not ego on a moment to moment basis. When I talk about living out of my wise woman - about the importance of choices, I'm talking about keeping my outer life as true to essence as I can. - about avoiding living reactively or giving outside forces any more power than they absolutely have.

Is this way of looking at myself in the world a crutch? Maybe. I don't care. I can live this way with this belief system and be someone I want to be most moments. That's enough for me.

As for personal power, its there whether I pick it up or not. I can use it to chase my own tail, to hurt others, or to seek healing and create solutions. I get to choose hundreds of time a day. Tools - interpersonal, psychological, financial, mechanical, intellectual - enhance the effectiveness of my power - but only choice determines its direction My power to do good and my power to do harm are equal. The difference is choice.

So that's a lot about my core values -which I depend on to keep my life operating.

1 comment:

ruth said...

I'm intruiged by this post. It's odd to me to think that some people don't believe these things--or in this type of soul. I guess I really am your daughter--as I read I just kept nodding.

I'm hapy to have your words about living "true to essence" I've been trying to find a way to say this lately and have usually said I strove to be "genuine" which is ture (and is a large part of what I mean) but, though I value being transparant I also mean coming from love... from my highest genuine self... and I think your words say it well. Thanks