Bob went back to Corpus this afternoon and I've been quiet in the house, cleaning a little, beading, sorting the events of the last week. I think I'm in denial that Bob's pneumonia could have gotten awful and killed him. It didn't. But we never know. I've been at the hospital with Paul and Lydia and watching them love each other and hold on makes me very thankful for all the love in my life and very mindful of life's fragility. I've felt tender toward everyone these last few days and worked hard at living kindly. And I've thought about Kerry a lot.
They could be us,these two,
I see you in the bed and me
in the chair, gasping for air,
craving to wail and throw up,
but sitting instead, petting your head ,
You taught me not to count on tomorrow,
not to measure joy or sorrow,
to hold on and abide, beside,
not to fear fear but to know, death cannot win
We did not give in. Love without end.
IT isn't all life and death though. Bob and I watched the film Hobart Shakespeareansabout a remarkable teacher whose rules for his kids are "Be Nice. Work hard. No shortcuts." I woke up this morning wanting to talk to the kids about house rules here, based on those rules. We did talk and came up with three. "Be kind." (we like kind better than nice. KK says nice is a tired word and kind seems to mean more to us.) "Pay attention" We mean to our own efforts, to each other, to what's boing on around us - as in both listen and be mindful. "Do your part." I have felt happy today with those rules and while the kids were here we all refered to and followed them. They are not rules for kids only - every bit as much for us adults.