Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Hard day and I don't know why. Bob is home for five extra days and it feels so good to have him here - sweet and present. He is recovering from pneumonia (caught quickly and responding to antibiotics thank God)so he is taking some days off work and just present in the house reading and hanging out - not miserable. Having him here feels great, but I'm still anxious and shaky trying to get my work schedule back in play. Nothing feels right yet. I still have doubts about 2007 and I'm still trying not to.

The nation buried President Ford today. I remember him so well - as a smiling presence in the aftermath of Nixon, Watergate, the coming of the nation not to trust its leaders. I remember him as someone I thought was trying to do a decent job in a hard situation. His wife Betty had breast cancer when he was in office and came forward with her own recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction. It was a big deal - her honesty in that time. Now comedians make jokes about the Betty Ford Center, but it was a good thing she did. It is strange to see her so old now. The guard is really shifting, the generations fading and blooming in turn. I realize I am closer to the old than to the new when someone writes in wonder of the oddness that we, in the sixties, actually expected our politicians to behave honorably and were shocked when they didn't. The really odd thing is that I still do. Still am.

1 comment:

Ruth said...

Mama,

I'm glad Bob is feeling better and that you are able to enjoy his sweet presense for a few more days. I feel like I should comment on your not feeling hopeful enough about the new year. When I read your previous entry I identified with it but as I've been trying to form a response I realize that, while I don't feel happy (per se) about the New Year I do feel ready for it--hungry for it even.

I've been trying to write my end-of-year page for our 2006 scrapbook and I have struggled. When I summarize this past year it sounds pretty bleak. And for a while I was feeling bleak about it. But I think I've had a paradigm shift. I'm looking to 2007 to be a positive oppertunity for change. I'm looking forward to my new job and I'm thinking it will be a fun, productive year at your house--scrapbooking projects and helping you organize and gather in your house.

I'm still saddened by all the suffering and sad news around me but I think I see this new year as an oppertunity to step out of the shadow of all that and take an active role in shaping a better next year.

I babble.

I simply wanted to say that I love you and I hope you are able to feel what it is that you are longing to feel about the new year soon.