Thursday, January 22, 2009

I think I need a new theme now that Martin Luther King Day and the inauguration are behind us and the babies aren't quite here yet. I am short on words, but want to keep up the habit of writing something here every day. I have noticed this week that economic anxieties are hitting a wide variety of people I know and meet, at work and otherwise, and it is hard not to feel anxious around all that anxiety. I keep just breathing in and breathing out - knowing worrying doesn't help. That's true about anxiety about my daughters and their babies too. I heard a story this week of a young woman who is terribly ill wiht HELLP syndrome after giving birth to her twins, and it scares me. And I work to keep breathing in and breathing out and avoid calling daughters every few hours to ask about their blood pressure and the presence of any other symptoms. THey are fine. I know they are fine. And worrying won't keep them fine. And if I bug them they will just get scared themselves or swat me. I wrote a poem to my worry.

Worry

Worry, you gnaw
under ribs, howl
like winter wind.
I starve you, refuse
to toss you worst
case scenarios,
change all I can,
center energy,
inhale, exhale
pray, create,
use every skill
I've learned.
Still, you gnaw,
worry. I accept you.

Victoria Hendricks,
January 21, 2009

4 comments:

Judy said...

This is a great poem about what is going on in your life right now. I'm sorry that your clients are now feeling the recession woes. I guess in your line of work you have to be strong so they will stay strong.
So wonderful to hear about your two very healthy girls having healthy babies very soon. Oh, my VERY soon. :) What a grand time you will be having soon. You'll have to run from one house to the other.

Mary said...

I agree about economic anxieties. I keep hearing of businesses cutting back or closing. One long established local restaurant telephoned their employees one night and said not to report to work the next day, as they were closing. A very sad thing here is that our local chain of independent bookstores is shutting their doors in March. Sigh. They fought to compete with the national chains as long as they could. I keep thinking about all the people losing their jobs.

I do think as we go through these difficult times, which may get even more difficult before getting better, we all have to just keep breathing in, breathing out.

I also think it was good to write TO your worry.

Peggy said...

Very good advice, Victoria, breathing in and breathing out. Stopping breathing never helps. LOL

You are lucky that concentrating on breathing helps you as those body focus things have never worked for me (I was not successful at meditation). I need something one has to actually concentrate on or think about to do. Sudoku and corsswords work for me as well as reading a good book or even reading my e-mail and writing to people. Some have success with Tai Chi.

You girls must be getting very excited about the babies. How fun for them to have shared this pregnant time and then the two infants. It can be such a bonding experience. And what fun for you too! You may have to take some grandmother-leave time!

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