Sunday, July 15, 2007

Tonight was a blending of histories and family threads. Ruth and Chris and I joined Kerry's brothers and wives to celebrate the twenty first birthday of Megan, the niece born days after Kerry's death. Her Dad died in 2001, so it seemed good to be able to write a journal for her of Kerry's memories , and mine, of him and the family in early days. Writing, and being with these people, brought back many memories. They are good and interesting people. I wish on nights like this though, that I did have a blood sibling of my own. There is a connection - the looking alike and sharing memories thing - that means something and is something to fall back on in terms of comfort. Inlaw relationships and friendships can be just as rich - and higher quality even if you work at them, but they have to be earned in a way that I don't think sibling relationships do.

2 comments:

Ruth said...

Thanks for attending with us. I intend to blog some about it--a strange and wonderful experience. I want to try to explore the difference between blood and not.

SeaStar said...

differences between blood and not. I feel so cut off from blood ties - but I do have you and Joanna and the kids, and I do feel something special there, a connection and similarity that may be the blood thing. I wonder though, because Chris isn't blood and I feel so much comfort and ease with him - even though he acknowledges nd straight up declasres differences in history and upbringing. He feels like an "us." I love respect am connected to so many people through legal family and through friendships. I never will forget the moment though, when you Grandpa Jim stood in our bedroom looking down at days old Joanna and tlked about the marvel of her being the culmination and connection of all of us. He had been orphaned young, and he spoke wiht such emotion. I had never expected the power of blood ties, but he brought it up for me, and I have felt it with you and Jo - and with the kids. KK has my hair and she is more the dancer than I was, but she believes she got that talent through me and we connect through it. I see myself in Danny too - the need to be loved and to love and a certain disconnection from physical reality at times - a connection ot some feeling reality on a different level. I don't love the bloodkin "more" but I feel safer maybe, less in need of explaining myself and earning a place.