Friday, October 10, 2008

I'm tired at the end of a long work day and hungry but don't want to cook - even heat anything up. That's one of the biggest disadvantages of our lifestyle - hard to cook for just me sometimes, but I do and I will tonight. Food has really been good this fall and I'm very happy with my weight loss so far. I resisted Weight Watchers for decades, probably because I'm too much of an introvert for meetings, but with the online recipes and hints it's a great program for me.

Yesterday's Yom Kippur service occured in the Unitarian Universalist church where Kerry and I were married. Our congregation has all of it's High Holy Days services in that church and I usually don't think about our marriage there - not a wedding really, just a marriage on a cold December morning with Kerry, me, the minister, and our two best friends. Yesterday I walked into the kitchen during a break between prayers, and remembered pacing in that kitchen on the morning of that marriage, wondering if I had what it took to be a good wife. I know myself much better now. I don't even feel sad that things changed so much for hte young couple who married in that church - or only partly sad. It would have been a good life if he had lived to old age and he declared it a good life the day he died young. It's been a good life for me too, before his death and since. Nothing, no loss, no change is ever as big a deal as it seems at the time, no triumph either.

2 comments:

Lori Harvey said...

That last line is so important to remember when in the midst of one of those seemingly "worst times ever"....no matter how bad it feels on that day, that moment, it will feel different and at least a little better with time....that's one thing I love that I learned from getting old....that time really does heal.

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