Monday, October 06, 2008
I walked up to the grocery store a little while ago and watched a couple - younger than me (mid forties?) She was in a wheel chair and he was pushing, very tender, reaching down a couple of times to stroke her cheek or talk to her quietly. There was absolutely love in their interaction and, I thought, protectiveness on his side. She had hair but looked too think with a look of pain about her - but of course I could be completely wrong. Maybe she just has an injury and will be fine - but I thought about having short time as a couple seeing them together and I triggered on something Bob said yesterday, that sometimes someone who really loves a spouse might choose to suffer greatly in grief, to become dysfunctional, to show how much he or she loved the partner who was ill or had died. That really scares me. I don't think anyone could love more than I loved Kerry and I didn't do that. Don't do that, Bob, if I die suddenly, now, or otherwise before you. Please use your love for me to make the rest of your life strong and to create beauty, strength, healing in the world in my name, in the name of our love. Please, please, nobody ever shut down in grief for me (I mean I know you will have your feelings and tears and will miss me, but don't let the grief make you less for more than a very short time - please) Use the energy to create and heal. That's important to me. When I die, make an altar of your actions, as I wrote the other day.