Saturday, December 22, 2007

Today is my birthday and Bob is pampering me in all kinds of sweet little ways (chicken fried rice take out, helping me with lots of little chores that are easier to do in company, just being around and listening to anything I want to say at whatever length.) A beautiful vase of mostly purple and wine colored flowers just arrived from a dear friend. Last night Bob and I took a long walk in the pre-solstice dark and really basked in the moonlight (almost full). A great horned owl crossed our path and then hooted at us from a tall bare tree. Today the weather seems perfect for a winter birthday - clear sweet blue windy day, wind from the west and blustery and just in the last ten minutes whipped around from the north. It will freeze tonight and the moon will seem huge as it only can full in clear winter sky.

I'm thinking about how I feel about turning 57. It seems pretty much a nonevent. My life won't change because I'm 57. This is not a transition time for our family. All is continuing as it has been progressing (unless of course the mythical other shoe drops out of the mythical clear blue sky). We are growing, learning, changing by increments, not starting new phases.

I like this stage of my life I like feeling competent in most areas of endeavor, having long friendships, being consulted as a source of wisdom at times, but still feeling energetic and interested in learning and doing new things. The fact that this birthday feels not so important makes me think twice. My time on earth is finite, past half and precious. So what do I want to make sure I do with this year - most of it is more of the same - real is better than perfect, love not ego, don't leave any appreciation unexpressed. Beyond that I want to get more of the stories that only I know told in scrapbooks and stories. I want to work on the physical quadrant just a little this year, being more attentive to diet and exercise, but not to set specific goals or emphasize it too much - just to pay a little more attention. I want to remember that this crop of grand children is growing up fast and my time of maximum connection with the won't last forever - and to make the most of this time now. I guess that is really the message I want to generalize to all areas. I want to live kindly and with mindfulness now.


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