Friday, February 08, 2013

Awareness (easy times)

Today was not a great day for awareness.  It was the kind of day on which I tend to say "i'm chasing my tail."  Nothing was wrong except that I was never truly present in any moment.  I half watched Liam as he showed me break dance moves and ate my dinner without tasting it. I thought about how to answer Bob before I heard what he was telling me. And I realised that I got by with that kind of sloppy awareness because nothing really hard happened today.  I coasted because I could.. In the hardest times we slog through,  foot in front of foot, every effort conscious.  I didn't apply that kind of intense mindfulness  today.  I don't think I apply it enough in general  in easy times. So I trip over my feet and get too easily distracted, startled, ahead of myself.  My resolve is to apply awareness even when it isn't absolutely essential to avoid falling on my face. My goal is to remember to take one step at a time even when the waxing moon rises bright and the wind chimes sing of springtime.

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