Monday, August 30, 2010
Monday is supposed to be my relaxing day, but today was insane - It felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack all day long. I think I have more trouble than I want to admit with my daughter's lives being unsettled. Joanna and family are on the very verge of getting into a rental house in San Antonio and RUth and Chris almost have a contract to sell their house. But things could still go wrong. People say "Don't worry." and it doesn't quite fit. I don't think I worry or catastropise, don't expect the worst. I just don't feel settled when my daughters lives are unsettled. I don't seem to be able to just bracket (This is theris and this is mine and I can care about them without feeling their aK. and their adjustments to school. I'll be more relaxed when I know both of them are fully in the flow. Love3 with boundaries is so tough for me. I don't have the emotional strength to feel everyone I love's burdens fully, or the power to lift them, and respecting people demands stepping back and trustiog them to deal with their own burdens unless they ask for help. Easier said than done. Today showed me how far I have to go on this.