Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Beautiful first nip of fall. Last night before the front came through we had dinner in the sukkoh - delicious and good to be together as a family - all the Austin bunch. But after dinner I felt anxious and distressed - maybe that what we have is too sweet and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and something awful to happen. I don't want that, don't want to think like that. Last night I cried and cried in bed and sweet Bob just held on, which is all anyone could do. Today he brought me a beautiful pink butterfly balloon at work. I love being loved like that, when I am at my most vulnerable and unappealing. I still feel a sense of forboding and tremendous tenderness for everyone I love. Today was better than yesterday. I felt competent and strong at work and caught up a little with emails, which feels good. Tomorrow night will be a treat - a showing of the Complections dance company with $10.00 tickets complements of KK's dance program.