I feel a little lighter today, despite difficulty containing concern about the medical waiting and scary news of dear family members. I jumped on Ruth's trampoline last night. Jump i maybe an overstatement. I bent my knees and bounced (good calf work out) and then did jump just a little, feet of the tramp. it energizing. The crazy fun though came from the game Ruth calls "breaking the egg". I lay in the middle of the tramp with my knees tucked up to my chest and my arms tight around my legs, trying to hold that tucked "egg" position and Ruth and Liam jumped around me, shaking me wildly. The bodily sensations involved were amazing - the FUN of childhood physical play. I am usually so contained emotionally, especially about laughter, and I was just cackling and squealing and hollering like a kid without having to choose to or not to. There is something marvelous for me about being out of control, not having to control, in a safe, fun setting. I've never been OK or felt safe with drinking or drugging to get there - doesn't feel safe. Physical play is my best G rated gate to release, and I sure needed a release last night.
Anyway, time to go home and clean my room and do my laundry after a nice short work day.