Sunday, June 17, 2012
When Bob and I married Joanna was in fifth grade and Ruth in second. Their Daddy had been dead about three years. One of the many things I loved about Bob was that he wanted a family not just a wife, and the fact that I came with two little girls was clearly a positive for him. Before we married I read that creating a blended family took at least three years. But of course that was for ordinary people, not for uswith oour high intelligence and vast knowledge of personal interactions. Boy was I wrong. It took us more than three years, maybe closer to ten, to really become a real family, deeply connected at all points, every connection independently strong. It was really hard. I was protective of the girls and of decisions I had made about how to raise them and didn't listen well to Bob's ideas at times. Joanna was fiercely attached to the memory of her beloved dead father. Ruth felt guilty she didn't really remember her Daddy, and yet fely guilty too about really bonding with Bob because that seemed like a betrayal of her sister (and maybe her Daddy?). Bob tried and tried through all of this. He took us on wonderful trips the girls remember with delight. He took them out on Wednesday nights one on one for yeras, working on getting to know each of them and giving them special treats. He took great care of them when they were sick. He defended them against me when I was unreasonable. And somewhere along the way it took and we really did become a family. i am so thankful.