Thanksgiving 30 - Thankfulness

I am thankful for the feeling of being thankful, the ability to know the sweetness of the sweet in life and to appreciate the value of the difficult. I'm thankful that Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday in November, but an honest feeling which floods me everyday and is only highlighted and disciplined by practices like writing gratitude posts in the month of November. I am thankful for the feeling of being thankful.

Thanksgiving 29 - Resillience

I am thankful for resillience, recovery, the will and ability to rise again. I know people who have experienced terrible adversity - physical, and emotional and who have found the will and strength to keep on keeping on with grace and without bitterness. Struggle isn't fun but it is honorable, precious, effective. I am thankful for resillience.

Thanksgiving 28 - Resale stores

I am thankful for resale stores - especially Savers. I know that just reusing things instead of throwing them in the land fills is not enough to keep the planet alive, but I do love being on both the receiving and the giving end of endless swaps. I wear clothing made by a dressmaker for a woman from India who probably lives in California. I watch a woman happily claim a bowl I no longer want. Both roles feel good. And there is always yarn - a little or a lot, plain at fancy, to use for knitting scarves for refugees from hot places who are processed through Austin each year. We found cool leather jackets there for our three older grand kids and delightful outfits, ethnic and otherwise, for the little ones. i enjoy the young salespeople, often with blue or maroon hair, who happily wear wsome of the stranger available outfits. They always seem to have a smile. I am thankful for resale stores, especially Savers.

Thanksgiving 27 - Work

 I am thankful for work - professional work I love, the productive feeling of working to organize a shelf or room, the creative work of making something beautiful, the solace of exhausting mind numbing work in times of deep grief, the work others do to make my life and our world sustainable. I am thankful for work.

Thanksgiving 26 - Grief

 I know this is an odd one, but I am thankful for grief. This is one of those days when i've heard of several deaths, either just occured or soon to occur. Love is so intense, and loss so painful. I belief grief is the normal developmental process through which our losses first become real to us and then become less central to our lives. It is a wave form, like being in the ocean in a hurricaine at first, swamped by giant wave after giant wave, with no recourse except to be washed through. In time the ocean camms down, bu the occasional big wave still hits. I don't believe that without grief I never would have accepted Kerry's death or found a way to thrive without him. i am thankful for grief.

Thanksgiving 25 - Benefit of the doubt

I am thankful for the benefit of the doubt. I sure need it, and offer it freely. Communication is so complicated and life so challenging, I don't think we manage well without more than a little of it. I am thankful for the benefit of the doubt.

Darkness and light -25

On Christmas night I'm thinking aboout babies, the beautiful nativity story and babies in general, how each is a little spark, a light that can be nurtured or snuffed out, and how each is unique. and none is of more intrinsic value than any other. That is the lesson my Uncle Rudy taught me. He was born very prematurely and lack of oxygen had affected his lungs and his coordination. Things like ...making change were hard for him and he had terrible asthma. he also had music in his every cell and was a drummer for his high school band and the Texas Longhorn band. But none of that is my point here. My point is that I was raised to be way too achievement oriented and success oriented and by high school must have been pretty snooty about academic success. Uncle Rudy and I were pulling weeds together one morning and I said something, don't remember what, but something stuck up and mildly contemtuous regarding school performance. And he looked me straight in the eyes and told me to remember that not everybody has the same advantages and I needed to stop judging. The lesson took. It was years later that i thought about that lesson in reverse. I sure don't have Rudy's musical ability or naturally outgoing nature, and he never held me in contempt for those lacks. So on Christmas night I'm thinking about babies, and how each one is a unique spark, to be discovered and nutured, not judged.

Thankfulness 24- I am thankful for interdependence.  I do best when I can both give and receive, take care and be cared for.  And I live in a world like that.  Independence doesn't seem possible and the thought of it is scary to me.  I love living in a household with a son-in-law who is and amazing cook and gave us a gloriousThanksgiving meal, for having a husband who drives and knows how to hang a reading lamp, a daughter under my roof who fixes the dishwasher when it breaks and braids my hair, a grand daughter who says "You are falling asleep.  Go to bed."  I am thankful for interdependenceThankfulness 24- I am thankful for interdependence.  I do best when I can both give and receive, take care and be cared for.  And I live in a world like that.  Independence doesn't seem possible and the thought of it is scary to me.  I love living in a household with a son-in-law who is and amazing cook and gave us a gloriousThanksgiving meal, for having a husband who drives and knows how to hang a reading lamp, a daughter under my roof who fixes the dishwasher when it breaks and braids my hair, a grand daughter who says "You are falling asleep.  Go to bed."  I am thankful for interdependenceThankfulness 24- I am thankful for interdependence.  I do best when I can both give and receive, take care and be cared for.  And I live in a world like that.  Independence doesn't seem possible and the thought of it is scary to me.  I love living in a household with a son-in-law who is and amazing cook and gave us a gloriousThanksgiving meal, for having a husband who drives and knows how to hang a reading lamp, a daughter under my roof who fixes the dishwasher when it breaks and braids my hair, a grand daughter who says "You are falling asleep.  Go to bed."  I am thankful for interdependence

Thanksgiving 23 - Imagination

I am thankful for imagination, everybody's including my own. Bob and I spent much of today writing on our young adult fantasy novel, and it was fun hanging out in a world of our own creation. I love feeling the imagination wheels turn in my head and love seeing what others come up with - in books, in art, in conversation. The random pun, the playful image, the running story Liam ane I have about Sea Turtle Celeste, all of these things make me smile. I am thankful for imagination.

Thanksgiving 22- being physiologically happy

I am thankful for the feeling of being physiologically happy. I'm a serious being and generally feel content and pleased with my life and my choices, but not just bone marrow, every cell happy. When that feeling comes, and it has tonight, I cherish it. I know it won't stay long and that's OK. Content and satisfied is plenty for everyday. Happy is dessert. I'm thankful for feeling physiologically happy.

Thanksgiving 21-Traditions

I am thankful for traditions. There is a turkey in the fridge tonight and cranberry sauce on the stove. People on the internet and otherwise are wishing each other peace and joy in their families. We remember to stop and be thankful for our bounty and to tend to the needs of others. I appreciate holidays which call my attention to gratitude, family, memories, and dreams. I am thankful for traditions.

Thanksgiving 20 -enough

I am thankful for enough, dayenu, the sense of sufficiency, the absence of a feeling of need for more and more and more. I am thankful for enough.

Thanksgiving 19 - perseverance

Right now, and it seems like more often than not, I am in the middle of tasks that matter to me and that require effort over days, months, years - like journaling, keeping up with people, making order of belongings, pruning, writing. I often feel overwhelmed and like reality is swirling and I'll never finish anything - but there is some quality of perseverance inside me, not always as much as I wish, that helps me latch back on and keep working. I am thankful for perseverance.

Thanksgiving 18- Waxing crescent moon

I am thankful for the waxing crescent moon. I love it in the evening, a narrow boat setting in the west sky, just a slender promise of the full moon it will become. The waxing crescent moon is my personal symbol of trust. The moon was invisible last week. Now that it is visible again it will be more and more visible each night until it once again rises fll and red in the east. I love the predictability of htis pattern. I am thankful for the waxing crescent moon.

Thanksgiving 17 -old pictures

Thankfulness 17 - I am thankful for old pictures - at least I think I am. We have so many pictures and there are stories with most of them which will be lost if I don't write them down. It seems wrong for memories to be reduced to only pictures, unconnecte to stories anyone knows. And it is a daunting task to connect the stories to the pictures, even to cull out the best pictures from each photo session. I want the contents of the boxes and shelves i leave behind to make sense and to reflect the highs lows and middles of my life. The pictures help. Despite my acute overwhelm at the moment, I am thankful for old pictures.

Thanksgiving 16- Stories

I am thankful for stories. I grew up on stories, stories from books and stories from the lives of my parents and grandparents. Ice skating on the river in Czechloslovakia before World War I, picking cotton in Texas fields, hearing about the attack on Pearl Harbor on the city bus just a few blocks away from my current office, falling in love over a tray of pecans at a faculty function... The stories that came before me go on and on and I add the stories that have happened to me and pass them on. More than blood, I believe stories connect us. I am thankful for stories

Thanksgiving 15- My house

 I am thankful for my house. It has its problems, is messier than I would like too much of the time. Dishes in the sink, laundry in various stages of wet, clean, dry, put away, old wiring. It's on the small side for a multigenerational family of six and sometimes its crazy full of noise and activity. It is also rich with memories of thirty five years of family living - birth, death, birthdays, holidays, fights, dancing, meals, games of chase, homework, food preparation, love in so many forms. It is warm in the winter and cool in the summer, is not in a war zone, has food in the fridge and, at this moment, is full of sleeping people I love I am thankful for my house.

Thankgsgiving 14 -play

 I am thankful for play. I just spent a couple of hours with my two three and a half year old grand children who are masters of play - cooperative, imaginative, friendly, spontaneous, only works if it is completely voluntary for all parties, has no purpose except the joy of it. Nothing is much better is sitting on bright green winter grass on a mild fall afternoon serving as base in a rollicking game of tag between delighted cousins. i am thankful for play.

Thanksgiving 13 - color

I am thankful for color. It thrills me, all the nuances of natural color that change as the seasons change - the infinite shades of blue sky can be, some limited to a given time of day or year. I love the indigo blue time of night that comes after sunset in summer and the white blue of winter afternoons. I love the colors of skin and eyes, all the rose and gold and blue and green and brown. I love the flashes of color in flowers, birds, butterflies, fish. I am thankful for color.

Thanksgiving 12 - old friends

 I am thankful for old friends. We had supper wiith dear friends from college days, two kinds of chili and saffron rice, and conversation that jumped from stories over three decades. and am so touched and I think about the births, deaths, joys, and crisies we have shared graced to have them still in my life. I am thankful for old friends.