Circle of Life

It is the first birthday of Micha Jaasma, the youngest Member of thriving family.  She is walking, charging ahead, soaking the world in with huge blue eyes.  Heidi has been dead almost five months.  A year ago she knew how bad her cancer was, but she was still planning and enjoying hikes, loving and laughing, cherishing each day and hoping for a miracle. A year ago my friend Mary,known as Chia died unexpectedly, after a long rich life.  Two days ago my mentor Dorothy Satten died after a long life which she lived fully, richly, generously until she was all used up.  I recognise the ebbing and flowing, waxing and waning of life force around me and within me.  None of us knows how long we have, who we'll see again and who we won't.  I want so badly to live this way, fully present in every moment, but I don't.  I get distracted and don't do the most important things first.  I leave "I love you", "Thank you." "I'm sorry." unsaid.  Perfection is impossible even in mindfulness.