Monday, October 10, 2011
Yom Kippur is behind us. Fasting was hard for me this year and I feel a little uncertain about the directions of my turning closer to bringing oneness to my life and the world. It was wonderful though being in service with the Jewish contingent of my family - especially seeing Chris carry the troah in procession and Liam follow behind dancing. I am coming clearer and clearer that I will never be able to be all that I want to be to everyone I love, and that this will becopme even less possible as my capacity decreasing with age. I feel it decreasing - still plenty left but I am not as strong, not as enduring, even with efforts to remain so. There seems to be a lesson of acceptance in my autumn, of resting in being enough as I am. It is a hard lesson.
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2 comments:
It is good that you are finally resting in who you are, Victoria. You are wondrously made and you don't have to be in control of everything, as you have always felt necessary. Just being your nurturing self and presence is so much more than most I know. Blessings to you, as you accept what you have learned. Let yourself be loved, and accept life as it is right now.
Victoria, I don't think any of us can ever be all to everyone we love. I don't yet see my ability to 'be for' people decreasing, but I just know my limits and truly don't think it is right for me to try to be all. I agree with you about the lesson of autumn. Resting in who we are. Enjoying the beauty of now, one day at a time. Blessings to you, Victoria, as I think of you today...and think of the prayer shawls you gave to Diane and me, which I still have and love.
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