Thursday, June 03, 2010
We are all so connected. Last night there was a big noisy scary thunderstorm while we sat at the dinner table. A brilliant flash of lightening electrified the room and thunder cracked gehind me, terrified and startled me and I screamed. As I screamed, I saw Liam's face change, his terror, and then his scream, mirroring mt own. Ruth and Chris calmed him quickly, but for a moment my fear of the storm entered him and I feel really guilty about this. I will work hard to be more careful how I react when I am frightened - around children, maybe around people period.
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4 comments:
Sometimes it's well and right for Liam to be afraid, Victoria. I know what you mean about not wanting to pass on your fears to him (a constant battle when I was raising and/or working with children), but you also showed him that when he is frightened, there are people all around who will make him feel safe. Priceless!
Good lesson, I think. I do know that children pick up our fears. (Animals sometimes do too.)
I thought I commented on this before. I definitely agree that it is good not to inadvertently pass fears to to children. I know a woman who never learned how to swim because her mother was deathly afraid of the water. I remember when we had storm warnings here and a grandchild was with me being very aware that I should not say anything that would make him frightened. One CAN talk oneself into acting calmly, I found.
Interesting comments, Ann and Mary. Yes, Ann, it is OK for Liam to be scared sometimes, to have a full range of feeling, and great for him to know he can be comforted. What I don't like it that it was my behavior that frightened him. That's what I'm trying to watch, and I agree with you, Mary, that much control is possible. This situation was especially hard because t was such a startle - huge bang and flash right behind my back.
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